March 2012
9 posts
8 tags
Day 9
Today I felt both energetic and utterly depressed—the kind of “want to quit my job and go home and get under the covers and never come out again” kind of depressed. But in a very calculating ADHD way. I don’t know. I don’t feel like writing much about it.
I doubt I’ll sleep much tonight.
10 tags
Days 6-8
This past weekend I went on a trip to visit my mom.
Up until about a year ago, she lived with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and debilitating depression that were the hallmarks of my childhood. I grew up handing her fistfuls of pain killers, hugging her desperately as she cried for hours on end for no reason at all, and mopping up her urine when she’d fall into a stupor and forget to make it...
Anonymous asked: i can't stand to be in lessons, i feel the sudden need to get out and go somewhere else and i cant concentrate, ive done some stupid things and i dont know why, and i just dont know why, until i saw symptoms of GAD and a lot of it sounds like what ive been experiencing but i dont know? what do you think?
Anonymous asked: hi, i noticed that a lot of your tags were for GAD and just wondered that if you had it, you would be able to help me? i've always been a worrier and the last few years i've worried constantly about not being good enough and about so many other things to the point where sometimes i cant do anything, just sit and worry, im even less keen to go dancing and that is what i love so much, but...
8 tags
Day 5
That absurd energy is back. My eyes are wide, I keep catching myself holding my breath, and I am itching to do something.
I have to remind myself to eat. Both yesterday and today were a challenge—it’s like I don’t feel hungry in the same way I did only last week. Now I have a pit inside my stomach at all times, even after a meal, and I’m beginning to get used to it.
My...
7 tags
Day 4
I’ve slowed, and I have the worst cotton mouth of my life. No amount of water helps, and the postnasal drip is still there, driving me mad.
My reflexes are not very good either. Driving is almost challenging. Normally, I’m a pretty competent driver, but stop-and-go traffic during rush hour was a gigantic maze I just couldn’t figure out how to function in today.
I just feel...
7 tags
Day 3
Today was a bad day, at least relative to the past two. That phantom energy I had yesterday vanished and I felt so angry to have to wake up this morning. My eyes have been dry—scratchy—and my throat has a thick nasal drip running down it. As ever, perhaps this has nothing to do with the Zoloft. I don’t know. I feel like it does.
My clients at work annoyed me; they’re...
7 tags
Day 2
Maybe it was my compulsive marathon napping yesterday, but I was hit hard with insomnia last night. No matter how hard I tried to focus my thoughts and relax, my train of thought just kept leaping from one insane subject to the next. It felt like the gentlest marijuana high imaginable, or perhaps a really average unmedicated ADD day. Surreal. Regardless, I fell into a sleep in which I dreamed...
5 tags
Day 1
Today marks my return to Zoloft for the first time in two years. The prescription was given to me by a doctor I’ve never seen before. She walked in, asked me what I needed to review with her, nodded when I told her about my previous experience with Zoloft in college, and wrote me a prescription for 25mg/daily to start, no questions asked. The simplicity of it stunned me. I’ll go back...
